Post by Susan Peabody on Jun 27, 2019 22:39:45 GMT
I have decided to take a year off from counseling and writing to take care of my husband Frank. He has Stage IV bone cancer and he wants to expire at home. Right now he is in no pain so we have awhile to be together and enjoy being together.
I need prayers for stamina. I have lost 9 people over the years but they all died suddenly. This will be the first time I will be helping someone pass on in stages.
The 5 stages of dying are denial, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance. I had a premonition this was coming so I have been through all the stages. Frank is such a spiritual person that he went from surprise to acceptance in 24 hours. God bless him he loves Jesus so much that he is not afraid. He has 5 brothers waiting for him.
I am only worried about his care but they have a great hospice program in the Bay Area and I will be getting a lot of help physically, medically, emotionally and spirituality. I do not want to offend anyone who has lost a loved one but this transition does not upset me. Maybe I am in denial, but this passage is just another transition to what I consider a better place. I hope all of you are well and will keep us in your prayers.
Frank's is a professional drummer. Here is an article written about him a couple of years ago. He did a tour with Etta James and his brother Sol was a drummer with Ray Charles.
Post by Susan Peabody on Jun 27, 2019 22:45:03 GMT
Frank is my current partner. We met in the elevator where I live. I had been single for 16 years. He came on to me but I was not interested. I liked being single. But I enjoyed the attention. All my life I have felt ugly. I had lost 150 lbs and my body showed it. It is not a pretty sight. But Frank was crazy about me. He would get aroused just sitting next to me. So I gave him a chance and now I am happier than I have been since Sandra committed suicide in 2008.
I think God chose Frank for me because he balances me out. I am a compulsive talked and he is "still waters run deep." There are other things as well. I will post about them on this thread.
Right now the biggest issue between us is my constantly comparing him to other men in my life. I have PTSD and I am always telling him he is just like all the guys who abused me. I also buy Frank dinner now and then and wonder if I am being codependent. He gives me $700 out of a $800 check, but I still worry I am being codependent.
God will help me sort this out. It is my PTSD that makes me compare Frank to other even though he is very different. I know in my heart he is not like the other men who abused me and I am working on not subjecting him to my disorder. He never complains. He just says that he understands and that he loves me. Wow.
Post by Susan Peabody on Jun 30, 2019 21:19:08 GMT
Frank and I saw the oncologist today and he said the tests show that the cancer from Frank's prostate has migrated to 8 bones and is malignant. Since there was nothing a year ago that is pretty fast. All the men out there should ask their doctors for a PSA blood test which is an early indicator of prostate cancer. By the time Frank got his test it was 400 and normal is 4.
Frank opted out of chemo, surgery, and radiation and decided to try a new treatment which uses his immune system to fight the cancer by giving him transfusions. That will prolong his life if it works. The doctor said that Frank's life expectancy is 2 years but I reminded him that this is up to God. Only he knows when. We only know why.
Our doctor is the head of the oncology department so we are in good human hands. We are always in God's hands. We are going to take is day by day. I will keep you posted and come see us anytime. We are in Richmond now. Take care of yourselves.
Post by Susan Peabody on Aug 25, 2019 19:18:03 GMT
Master Drummer, Frank Samuels, passed away on August 23, 2019 just a few days shy of his 82nd birthday. Frank was born in Dallas, Texas on September 3, 1937. He began teaching himself to play the drums as the age of seven. By the time he was fourteen he was playing professionally.
At the age of seventeen, Frank left home to play the drums with various high profile bands all over the world. Eventually he became part of his own band, The Right Kind, and ended up in Hawaii doing gigs seven nights a week. The band had one hit record: “Why Do You Have to Lie,” which you can find on YouTube.
Frank is survived by a large, loving family, friends, and admirers all over the world as well as his partner of 12 years Susan. His greatest love was the Lord Jesus Christ and he considered his talent a gift from God that he wanted to share with the world. He did share it and that is his legacy.
A memorial service will take place at Grace Luthern Church, in Richmond, on September 3, 2019
Post by Susan Peabody on Aug 25, 2019 19:19:59 GMT
Sometimes when someone passes away they send a sign that everything is all right. Frank and I used to enjoy driving in the county. His favorite things was watching the wild turkeys in the fields. Yesterday I was driving when I had to come to a stop to let wild turkey cross the road. He stopped in the middle of the road and stared at me. At that exact moment a song came on the radio with the lyrics "Everything is going to be all right."