My struggle with anti-depressants

I too have suffered from anxiety and depression all my life. My mother told me I was a happy and content child until I was 4. Then she put me on a plane and told to lie about my age because I was five. I was going to see my grandmother who sodomized me. Then my mother had a nervous breakdown and I was without a mom for months. Then I was put in the hospital for three months, and still remember screaming for my mother. I was never the same. This is when I split which I described in the article I wrote.

Fast forward to be being an adult. I noticed one day that I had a rash. It was hives. I asked the doctor what it was and she tested me for allergies. It turned out in my case that it was stress. Over the next few months the hives got worse and I blew up like a balloon. My lips were swollen. My eyes were swollen shut and my foot was the size of a football. My stress had turned somatic (physical). To treat the hives they treated me with steroids. Then the doctor sent me to a psychiatrist. I thought I was supposed to talk through my stress like I had been doing for years in talk therapy. But this guy laughed and said, "Susan you are way past talk therapy. You need anti-anxiety medication. At first I refused. It was such a big step. So I left and thought about it. Once I got home I prayed about it and then decided to give it a try. The results were miraculous. I went back to the doctor and he said, "I can see you are now a believer." Oh yes. For years I have struggled with this decision because there is such a stigma attached to people who use "pills." But I have come to terms with it now. I need this medication. No one has to understand this except God and me.

Splitting: The Original Wound

www.brightertomorrow.net/spiritualarticles.htm