Post by Susan Peabody on May 26, 2016 18:09:16 GMT
When I joined 12-Step programs after my nervous breakdown in 1982, I was an agnostic. But there was this vague feeling that I had been saved for something special. This was the beginning of my faith.
It was not easy for me to accept such grace. I had made so many mistakes in my life, even to the point of abusing my children, and so naturally I did not feel worthy. But now I believe that God protects us until we are ready to serve him. It is not our choice who should live and die but his.
Being saved . . .
In San Francisco, in 1968, I fell in with a man who turned me into a prostitute. It is embarrassing to admit, but it is part of my story and my son Karl has encouraged me to "let it all hang out." He said, "if it is raw, so be it." Anyway, I got away from that life and a few years later I read an article in the paper about how they had found the bodies of dead prostitutes buried near where I used to walk the streets. God has saved me.
I have a lot of other stories like this. . .
Before I got out of prostitution I got arrested. This is why I gave it up and and moved back home. When my mother bailed me out and picked me up at the jail she said, "Susan, I don't think you know what you are doing." Duh. Anyway between hating jail and being pregnant with my daughter Kathy I made it home but I still had to go to court. I was a nervous wreck. I couldn't sleep or eat. Then the night before my court date I got a call. A man propositioned me over the phone. I burst out in tears and said, "I don't do that anymore." Then I hung up. For some strange reason I knew it was the district attorney trying to entrap me. So I called my therapist and asked him to write me a note saying I was too sick to go to court. My mother took the note to court and the district attorney, according to my mom, started screaming for the judge to issue a warrant for my arrest. The judge told him to calm down and he set another court date. I did end up going back to court, but the district attorney has lost interest in prosecuting me and they gave me probation. I knew I had been saved.
In the book of Alcoholics Anonymous, in the chapter "To the Agnostic" it talks about how we start our spiritual walk with vague feelings that God was out there. Amen.
Being saved also seems to apply to my son. When he was in the seventh grade his teacher called and told me that Karl was going to be killed someday if he did not learn how to stop triggering people. Since then he has been in fights, even with men who had guns, and never been hurt.
He has been saved many other times as well. One night he came home to a man robbing his house. He stood up to him and he ran off.
The night my daughter Kathy died, Karl was accosted by a man who had a gun and a pit bull. Karl survived.
God loves Karl and has a plan for him. When my daughter died I had to accept God's choice to take her and not Karl. I did not argue with him. He always knows best. He has a plan for us all.
One more story . . . last night Karl was involved in a ten car pile up on the freeway. He was coming home from picking up his new puppy from the airport. While everyone was trying to brake, God told Karl to gun the motor. He followed his intuition and missed being hit by about a foot. He could see all the cars piling up on the rear view mirror.
The point I am making is two fold. God loves us before we know him and protects us until we are ready to serve him, and second, when he has plans for you no one can hurt you. The relationship with God is like a marriage and what God has brought together let no man put asunder.
Susan Peabody
May 23, 2016
It was not easy for me to accept such grace. I had made so many mistakes in my life, even to the point of abusing my children, and so naturally I did not feel worthy. But now I believe that God protects us until we are ready to serve him. It is not our choice who should live and die but his.
Being saved . . .
In San Francisco, in 1968, I fell in with a man who turned me into a prostitute. It is embarrassing to admit, but it is part of my story and my son Karl has encouraged me to "let it all hang out." He said, "if it is raw, so be it." Anyway, I got away from that life and a few years later I read an article in the paper about how they had found the bodies of dead prostitutes buried near where I used to walk the streets. God has saved me.
I have a lot of other stories like this. . .
Before I got out of prostitution I got arrested. This is why I gave it up and and moved back home. When my mother bailed me out and picked me up at the jail she said, "Susan, I don't think you know what you are doing." Duh. Anyway between hating jail and being pregnant with my daughter Kathy I made it home but I still had to go to court. I was a nervous wreck. I couldn't sleep or eat. Then the night before my court date I got a call. A man propositioned me over the phone. I burst out in tears and said, "I don't do that anymore." Then I hung up. For some strange reason I knew it was the district attorney trying to entrap me. So I called my therapist and asked him to write me a note saying I was too sick to go to court. My mother took the note to court and the district attorney, according to my mom, started screaming for the judge to issue a warrant for my arrest. The judge told him to calm down and he set another court date. I did end up going back to court, but the district attorney has lost interest in prosecuting me and they gave me probation. I knew I had been saved.
In the book of Alcoholics Anonymous, in the chapter "To the Agnostic" it talks about how we start our spiritual walk with vague feelings that God was out there. Amen.
Being saved also seems to apply to my son. When he was in the seventh grade his teacher called and told me that Karl was going to be killed someday if he did not learn how to stop triggering people. Since then he has been in fights, even with men who had guns, and never been hurt.
He has been saved many other times as well. One night he came home to a man robbing his house. He stood up to him and he ran off.
The night my daughter Kathy died, Karl was accosted by a man who had a gun and a pit bull. Karl survived.
God loves Karl and has a plan for him. When my daughter died I had to accept God's choice to take her and not Karl. I did not argue with him. He always knows best. He has a plan for us all.
One more story . . . last night Karl was involved in a ten car pile up on the freeway. He was coming home from picking up his new puppy from the airport. While everyone was trying to brake, God told Karl to gun the motor. He followed his intuition and missed being hit by about a foot. He could see all the cars piling up on the rear view mirror.
The point I am making is two fold. God loves us before we know him and protects us until we are ready to serve him, and second, when he has plans for you no one can hurt you. The relationship with God is like a marriage and what God has brought together let no man put asunder.
Susan Peabody
May 23, 2016